I’m going to do this in chronological order, so that if you watched (or are watching archived FEI TV footage) my comments follow the same order. I did miss Parzival. I had to get a friend to a train and the timing was so tight that even missing the last horse we barely made it. I have heard he was better than in his other tests. I regret having missed it more than I expected to, because I would like to have had the chance to see for myself if he deserved the bronze medal.

Painted Black – this horse has turned out to be a great purchase for Morgan. What a launch for her career. Painted looks a bit cynical out there in the ring (after all, he’s done the tests so many times he could probably do them in his sleep without a rider), but he’s such a supple moving, uphill horse. I enjoyed watching all his tests, though the freestyle was probably his weakest performance. Three tests in four days does start to take its toll on the quieter ones, and he’s 17 besides. Morgan used Anky’s old Tango music, and while I have always enjoyed how it works for Painted (it wasn’t actually made for him – Anky got several horses’ worth of mileage out of that freestyle), I do wish we could have perhaps seen something new since he’s used that music for his entire career. Morgan’s ground plan was very simple, with extremely gentle half pass angles. The highlight of her ride was, ironically, when something didn’t go well for her. She was part way through the second turn of a double pirouette and it was turning into a lousy pirouette. Instead of completing it, she exited at around three quarters of the way through. What that meant is that she did not do a double pirouette and the judges would give her a mark only for the first one, which wasn’t great but was considerably better than the second one. Morgan gets my quick thinking prize of the day.

Johnson – I didn’t warm to this horse very much this week. He’s an attractive horse, but he doesn’t give the impression of loving his job, and he doesn’t have a lot of power from the engine. The freestyle was definitely his worst performance of the week. The right hind leg was actually dropping back down in the passage before traveling forward, so it almost looked like it was dragging out behind. Not so pretty. His music was too heavy in my opinion and did nothing for him. And finally, a comment on his pilot: if you can imagine a horse’s sides as a map, Hans Peter’s legs were all over it. He gets my weird leg aids prize.

Nip Tuck – the thing I like best about this horse is his name. The best part of his freestyle was the passage half pass zig zag that Carl somehow managed to squash into the top half of the ring right before the final halt. Nip Tuck has a talent for passage half pass, so it’s a shame it didn’t get a little more space to be shown off. The worst part of this pair was Carl’s brain bowl. Carl, you need a helmet consultant. Ugly head gear prize.

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Digby – sweet, dear Digby, who rose to the occasion of his un-retirement with the same generosity of spirit he’s always shown. My grandmother used to play Love is Blue on the piano for me when I was a child, so perhaps that was why I liked it for Digby’s passage. Canter music not so much. Not a lot to say about this performance;  in fact I think I might have to give it my least memorable ride of the day prize.

Half Moon Delphi – I do love this mare. Her passage is nothing short of phenomenal. There is no horse here in Normandy that has more equal power and expression front and behind. I give two thumbs up to Michael’s choice of Whenever, Wherever (Shakira) for the passage. The music suited the mare to a T. At first I wasn’t so sure about the canter music, which sounded like another version of the passage song, but the bits that were used for the tempis were awesome.  The performance was technically strong and artistically even better. I give Michael the first-rider-to-give-the-crowd-something-to-get-excited-about prize.

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Donnperrignon – this is another horse I’ve always liked, even when he wouldn’t piaffe for Cristoph in Lexington. I’ve heard all the stories and seen Epona TV’s damning photos, but as I have not actually witnessed evidence of Anna’s alleged abusive warm up practices, I take what I see at face value. I liked watching this pair. I didn’t much like listening to them though. As the strains of Phil Collins covers wafted into my ears I recalled that Anna was one of two riders in London to use Phil Collins. I’ve got nothing against Phil, but the full orchestral arrangements in the freestyle do nothing for the horse. Anna gets my done-again done-too-much music prize.

Legolas – I’ve said this before but I’ll say it again. I think Steffen should pull out Ravel’s Avatar freestyle, which I thought was too light for Ravel, and try it on for size with Legolas. I think it could be magic. I’m not a fan of electric guitar for this horse – it’s heavy and he’s light. In some ways, Legolas looked better in the freestyle than in the other tests. The left hind was not hitching up as dramatically as it had been on the other days. But the freestyle wasn’t without mistakes, including in the one tempis. The pirouettes were enormous, and I mean in terms of diameter, not canter stride. I’m not sure it is a good idea for the canter tour to come almost at the start of this horse’s freestyle. The passage-piaffe and, to a lesser degree the trot work, are his party tricks, and maybe his canter work would benefit from coming later when he’s settled and confident in the ring. The second half of this freestyle was better than the first. I’m a bit at a loss to find a prize to give, but I guess I can do a most-improved from start to finish.

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Arlando – I’ve had a few arguments about this horse with people this week, which has probably made me pay closer attention to him than I might have otherwise. It’s a lovely young horse (the youngest here, at nine) but I feel that there is a lot of tension in the front end. His canter pirouettes in the freestyle looked a bit like Reining spins because there was zero flexion in the throat latch. But boy did I enjoy his music. It was Spanish but very original and current sounding, a really gorgeous arrangement that made the transitions between trot and passage absolutely seamless. Because it was technically not very strong (the piaffe turns were a bad idea, probably for the same reason the canter pirouettes look like Reining moves) I can’t say I enjoyed this freestyle the most of all of them. But I am going to give Diederik my coolest and best arranged music prize.

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Augustin – I decided I liked this horse way back when I first saw him a few years ago at the European Championships. It’s hard not to love a tail like that, for starters. He’s old style and at times looks clunky, but he’s a handsome devil. Victoria did a brilliant job in the freestyle. It was all power and no clunk. The passage was of the kind you don’t want to end. But on the music front, Victoria is a perfect counterpoint to Diederik above, because I loved the technical and hated the music. Volare with a twangy guitar? Yuck. Victoria receives my prize for music that does the least justice to her horse.

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Verdades – Before I talk about the freestyle I have to say how excited I am to see this come-from-nowhere pair show the world how the right horse and rider combination – with the requisite  talent and skill – can challenge the top guns if the judges are willing to take the risk and reward what they see. However, in the freestyle I contend that the judges fell down on the job in the opposite direction. Laura walked quietly into the ring and rode the entire first half of her freestyle with the hand brake on. It made me wonder if the horse had had a bit of a confidence crisis in the warm up and Laura was playing safe to restore his usually happy state of mind. And where Steffen might want to consider doing his canter work later, I think the canter could come earlier in Verdades’ choreography. The canter work was much, much better than the opening trot and passage tours, and when Laura came back to those gaits at the end, he looked more like the brilliant young star we’d been watching all week. But apparently this was another case of me seeing something only visible from the stands because the judges lobbed a fantabulously big score at Verdades, 82.036%. I liked Verdades’ Rondo Veneziano music quite a bit more than Augustin’s sixties nostalgia trip, but I don’t agree that Verdades outperformed Augustin (81.036%).  It was particularly apparent to me because they were right after one another. I am placing this one in the Sin Bin.  This is no fault of Laura’s, but I’m giving her the prize for most generously marked performance.

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Desperados – technically the freestyle was not as strong as the Special because of a couple of mistakes, but I liked watching him more than in the other tests. The hind legs seemed more active and less trail-y, and Kristina is a lovely rider to watch. I also really liked their classical-with-a-modern-twist music very much. It was probably my second favourite score of the day. But my favourite part of Desperados’ freestyle was the piaffe turn between the collected and extended walk. The transition from walk to piaffe was as buttery as the croissant I had for breakfast. It was as though Kristina had merely flipped a switch. It was a rare glimpse of perfection, that elusive goal in dressage. For that, Kristina gets my prize for most awesome move.

Don Auriello – Watching him in the freestyle, I wondered if the hind leg dragging actually gets worse if he’s tense. Tinne is a brilliant rider, and it was very clear she was going for every point, but the disparity between the flying front legs and quiet hind legs was more obvious than ever. He also started to get quite deep in the canter tour, which I have not noticed before. I’ve always liked this horse’s Tommy freestyle, but for some reason I had never noticed the lyrics in the walk tour. Hearing ‘feel me touch me’ provoked me to turn to my new journo friend from Australia and say ‘it sounds slightly pornish.’ ‘I feel dirty now,’ she replied. The score (80.375%) didn’t surprise me, since the judges always feel the love for Don Auriello in a way that I find puzzling. But I must object to his beating Half Moon Delphi (79.696%). So the prize I give here is for the most unjustified ranking.

Damon Hill – now we are in love affair territory. I adore this stallion, and Helen is my favourite rider of these Games (still my girl crush). The freestyle was nothing short of beautiful technically. Helen was clearly in it to win it. As I watched the score come up I thought about what a shame it is that Damon  Hill is in his prime at the same time as Valegro. On the other hand, I guess it’s a good thing he is so good; otherwise there would be no contest at all. I find Helen’s choice of music lacking in a distinct melody. It kind of wanders without really going anywhere. There are times when the music is quite nice, but this horse deserves much more than just nice.  However, the visual impression was so powerfully positive, I’m giving Helen my award for the ride that least needed music to accompany it.

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Valegro – what is there to say? Gone into the annals of forgettable history are the mistakes of Aachen. I think I have finally figured out what Valegro reminds me of when he launches across the diagonal in extended trot. It’s like watching a speed boat start to plane. Down goes the back end, up goes the front end and he just flies. Not only do I believe I will never see anything quite like it, I don’t even want to. I can’t imagine what could possibly be more awe inspiring, more goose bump producing, than watching Blueberry dance. I’m not giving a prize to Valegro here. The Olympic, European, World Cup and now World Champion doesn’t need any more prizes. And he is a gift to everyone who loves this sport.

Fly, Blueberry, fly.

Fly, Blueberry, fly.

At some point in the next few days I’ll be scrutinizing the detailed marks, which you can access for yourself. In a rare moment of awesomeness at this WEG (other than the awesome sport that is), the organizing committee opted for full transparency and has published them on the Normandy website. I couldn’t resist a quick peek at Valegro’s marks. He got 19 tens. The only judge not to give him even one was grouchy pants McMullen.