That’s the acronym for my post-Normandy blog series, Best Of WEG, Worst Of WEG. One of the kinder things I’ve been called in this business of horse writing is a barking dog, so the name seems appropriate.

And in keeping with the theory that bad experiences are more fun to read about than good ones, I’m going to start out not with a ‘best of’ today, but a ‘worst of’.  Trouble is, I’m having a tough time deciding which ‘worst’ is truly the worst. I think I’ll start with one I haven’t mentioned yet, the fact that the new Endurance World Champion is Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed Al Maktoum. That name ring(er) a bell? If not, click here to read about the exposure my fearless colleague Pippa Cuckson gave him earlier this year. He’s the guy with two Marmoogs. Oh, yes and I almost forgot. He’s also Sheikh Mohammed’s favourite (but not first) son and heir to the princedom.

Sheikh Hamdan graced the dressage freestyles with his presence during the Endurance medal ceremony

Sheikh Hamdan graced the dressage freestyles with his presence during the Endurance medal ceremony

I think one reason I haven’t written about the astounding situation of him being the FEI Endurance World Champ is because I find it difficult to believe. I suppose I should have learned by now that anything is possible when it comes to the Amazing Powers of the Power  That Is (and the Power That Lurks in the shadows behind HRH) at Mission Control. But this exceeds everything, every single last bit of conflict of interest, ignoring of horse abuse, and forgiving of sins committed by unrepentant cheaters.

In March, the intrepid Pippa got and had published photos of two very different looking horses that Hamdan competed as one and the same animal at two races in 2012. Faced with the facts waving like a dirty, ragged flag in its face, the FEI could not ignore the situation – so it threw the whole thing at the Al Maktoums’ very, very favourite retired police chief, Lord Stevens and his totally-not-in-conflict company Quest, which is the contractor responsible for the FEI’s awesomely slow moving Integrity Unit (ECIU). How, you may ask, can I make such a damning accusation that the Integrity Unit is ‘awesomely slow’? Well, here’s how.

This poop-covered ball was lobbed in the good Lord’s direction in March. In June, wondering why on earth it was taking so long to affirm what Pippa had already proven, I emailed the FEI to ask for an update on the Marmoog case. “The case is currently with the ECIU. Once the ECIU investigation is concluded, the FEI will decide next steps,” is what I got for a reply. By that point the lists of declared athletes for WEG were being published and Hamdan was among them.

No one, not one person walking this earth, will ever succeed in convincing me that Lord-y-o didn’t sit on the case so that Hamdan could go and honour his family name by winning the WEG endurance race.

To wrap up today, let’s do a little deductive reasoning.

1. The FEI is the governing body for international equestrian sport. Its purpose is ostensibly to ensure fair play, among a few other things.

2. Fair play would preclude cheating – cheating along the lines of swapping one horse for another in an FEI sanctioned competition, a world championship no less.

3. There can be no doubt that Hamdan is guilty of the cheating described in 2.

4. The FEI has done nothing to punish Hamdan or even proceed with the case against him, instead hiding it behind Lord Stevens’ secret bookcase (behind which is a mounting pile of endurance scandals with the name ‘Maktoum’ stamped on them).

5. Hamdan is the current FEI World Endurance Champion.

Conclusion: The FEI has completely failed to uphold one of its primary principles. If there were such a thing as a perfect failure, this would be a perfect example.

Oh and you want to know one other tidbit? Guess who was the team chef d’equipe when Hamdan rode his ringer on the winning UAE team at the 2012 Longines World Endurance Championships  in England. I bet you can’t, can you? It’s none other than Saeed Al Tayer, the very same man who was appointed to the FEI’s Endurance Strategic Planning Group, and who is, shall we say, rather than less than one degree of separation away from Sheikh Mohammed’s cookie jar.

Now that I’ve written this first of several ‘W.O.W.’ entries, I realize it’s more a Worst Of the FEI. But it happened at WEG so I say it counts.